The Photographer

She was dreaming of falcons hovering in the Middle Eastern skies, of golden sunrise and clear blue skies. The smell of kebabs and the savoury sweetness of dates. She woke up with a start, wishing that dreams would last forever. A small clap of thunder can be heard in the west and she stood abruptly, excited of the prospect of rain, the satin sheets sliding on her body, exposing her naked form. Without any rancour nor decency, she stood in the french windows, clasping the brocade curtains, her face a halo of happiness and expectation. Gray skies can be seen and she hurriedly unsnapped her luggage containing her camera and stood bare naked in the windows waiting for the moment, a drizzle perhaps?

While she stood serenely in the windows, she looked like Venus rising in the seas. She is of medium height, quiet petite if barefoot, her full breasts perfectly proportioned with her rounded body, almost Rubenesque and very voluptuous. Her legs are not long but quiet shapely, her calves, a painters' dream. Her thick luxurious hair cast a shadow in her round face, hiding her almond shape eyes and the dimples on both cheeks.

She is an artist of some sort, she takes photos for and of strangers, she paints at her leisure, some of her works are commissioned by several hotels in the city. Her luck change few months back when one of her works where exposed in an exhibit in one of the posh museums and word suddenly spread about this up and coming painter. However, her great love is the written word, she writes as if breathing depends on it, her love, passion, angst and all those rampaging emotions are only cast in blank spaces. She sends her articles to different editors and agents, their rejection of her words are cruel stabs to her soul, but she kept on sending them, the mere fact that they send her rejection slips are enough for her to know that it is being read and she is part of the literary world.

The soft drizzle came; its sound a lyrical sonata on the pavements and glass windows. She snapped several shots, capturing the images she wants, taking different angles of her subjects; an Indian man running for cover, an Arab man in his kandura hurrying to his car, a group of Indian women in colorful saris with gigantic umbrellas. The click of the camera was the only sound in the studio flat she is occupying, barely furnished as money is tight and the painting materials are expensive.

She never stopped taking her pictures until she felt cold, her nipples erect from the freezing weather. She carefully placed the camera in the dresser and as if noticing for the first time herself, naked as new born child, she felt a warm sensation just looking at her reflection in the mirror. She cupped her breasts, touching her already hard nipples, pinching it gently, the sensation running like wildfire to the spot between her legs. She let her hands gently touch her chest, down to her rib cage, to her navel and to the soft triangle, the jade doorway. She touched it gently, exposing the lovely lips to her view, the hood throbbing, inching to be touch, caressed. 

Suddenly she stopped, feeling flushed and slightly guilty in a pleasurable way. With raw sensation she never felt before, she gently lift her camera and began snapping away, this time the attention is focused not to any strangers, but to herself, exposing her full glory through the lenses, never stopping until the muscles in her arms, legs and fingers grew numb from exhaustion.

The Conversation











It was a night of mismatched stars. I stayed ensconced in the warmth of his embrace. I buried my face on his chest inhaling his scent. He was whispering about leaving the restaurant, I was lost in the notion of dreaming. He gently pat my bottom for us to move, clasping my hands, half dragging me. His stride is always long and I have to keep up momentarily to catch his motions. This is always the case with him -- making the decisions and expecting me to come along. We reached the car park and he opened the passenger door for me. I slide stiffly and warily eyed him as he stared ahead on the empty space ahead of us. He took my hands and gently squeezed it, placing gentle kisses on each of my fingers and as he slowly inch towards me. He cupped my face, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead, on my cheeks, the tip of my nose, my chin and finally on my lips. I opened my mouth in protest, to stop whatever he has in mind, but he hushed me with the assault of his lips. It was gentle and rough, his tongue sliding in my mouth demanding to be reciprocated. He bit my lower lips very gently, his tongue circling my mouth with such intensity making me breathless and dizzy with emotions. I want to kiss him back, equaling his passion but I can't. So many things happened, so many that I can't move, I can't keep up.

He sensed my mood and stared at me long and hard, jaws clenched. He gripped the wheel, about to start the car. "No," I protested. "We really, really need to talk." I said quietly. He drew a very laboured breath and sighed. "Okay, we will talk."


"Why are you here, what do you want from me, why after all these months you decided to show up again?" I asked, not pausing for a break. 

He looked at me. "I never left, that is the first; second, I have been missing you, and third, I missed you," he said this very softly looking at me sideways. I was doumbfounded by his audacity, I snorted. "Okay, I expect that reaction from you, after all I never expected a warm welcome," he smiled briefly. I was caught off guard, my emotions in rampage, I was struggling to keep a non chalant demeanor. I heaved a heavy sigh and prepared what I have to say, careful on my words, thinking coherently. 

"It is different now, a lot of things happened, you left without a backward glance, it was cruel, vicious in fact. Yes, I admit, I have my share of these problems, but you refused to hear me nor even consider what I have to say. You just dropped everything and let fate take its course, expecting that I will be still here, and we can always patch up and try to make things right, pretending that it never happened. But sooner or later this issue will rise again and we will be on the same boat once more. We will hurt each other again, we will say words that we will regret later and I, I just cannot pretend that it will not matter, because it will." I was staring at my hands, at the dash board, anywhere, except meeting his stares, because if I will, I might lose all control and beg him to just hold me. But I cannot, he damaged me more than enough and when I already pick up the broken pieces, he, once again would do - intentionally or not, the inevitable. 

"Are you seeing someone now," he asked carefully. 

"Yes," I answered tightly. I cannot look at him, of fear that I will betray myself.

"I see. Are you... are you happy?" he asked again.

"Happiness is a choice, and I chose to be one," I answered in a small voice. 

"Fine. Have it your way. We will not speak of this again." his voice so final.

This is so like him. He would not let me read him. He will cast me aside and indulge his pain in silence, pretending he is not affected. But the flicker of his surprise in my pronouncement was enough that he did not expect it. Then he caught himself and masked his face with indifference. Aloofness. As if bracing himself for another blow, but I kept mum. That is all I have to say in the subject.

He started the engine and said, "I will take you home now, thank you for your time, for the effort to see me." We drove in silence and I stared at the windows, willing myself not to cry of this finality, of the pain and the emptiness lying ahead. We passed several shops and gasoline stations and I said to myself that I will not pass this road again as I will remember this night once more. 

We reached my place and I looked at him. He met my gaze with his very sad eyes. I will remember his eyes the most, flecked with thick lashes, the dimples in his left cheek, the smoothness of his shaven face. I want to bury my face in his neck like I used to but I cannot now. Not ever again. I touched his face with feathery movements, tracing his jaw line. I kissed his cheeks lightly and said my goodbye. I went out of the car and walked ahead the building, without a backward glance.I heard him roar away and I went back. For the last time, I want to watch him walk away once again in my life. This time with finality. I watched the tail lights of his car vanishing down the streets of Muraqqabat, turning left to exit Al Rigga. I stood in the pavements, with a heavy heart and a lump in my throat. Oh baby, if you could only love me better and make me a priority and not an option we will never reach this point. I was prepared to love and adore you for the rest of our lives.