I don't know why I run here whenever I find myself despairing. This page became a sanctuary for the words long over due to be expressed; for the suppressed pent-up emotions I had bottled up for hours, days, weeks, months, even years. This is the sole place where I can rant and rave and shout until my lungs bleed, until my finger tips grew numb, until I ran out of tears. Too dramatic, albeit true.
But you must know there is much I don't tell. The worst of it stays unwritten, not out of any sense of propriety but because I don't want it here. Because I don't have the words to make it beautiful or... uglier. Because I don't want the reconstructed memory lumbering in my head.
The last year was a turbulent one for me. I played with fire thinking I will never get burned. I was arrogant with my self confidence but very naive on the inside. Until something happened that obliterated my senses and until now causing me to stare blankly into space and consumed my nocturnes with silent screams and nightmares.
I've untie the knots that binds me with my past as I declared in my recent posts. But so often when a binding is undone, the wound underneath is still gruesome and raw.
